When describing the novelties of parenthood, there is probably no one so genuine about their lived experience than Briana Mesa.  See Briana’s interview below describing her authentic acceptance of our "new normal" in COVID, being an all-star school leader in the process of raising children, and relentlessly operating with People First leadership along the way.  

Briana and Family

Caregiver Conversations

Please describe your role as a Caregiver and what it means to you to ‘show-up’ for your family each and every day.

Briana: I am a mom and I have two children, an 8 year old son Robert (we call him Trey) and a 3 year old daughter Charlotte.  During this time, it has been really important for us to have a lot of stability and have a consistent schedule.  My current life is making sure my kiddos are dropped off at school and cared for after school.  My daughter goes to a babysitter and I do pick-up too.  Under normal circumstances, Trey goes to before and after care, which means he has to be picked up after school as well.  

How have you had to adapt to the “new normal” during E-School and COVID?

Briana: My husband got laid off like millions of Americans in April.   I was freaking out during this time, like sheer panic.  After thinking through the situation, talking with many close friends and hunkering down as a family, we realized we were really blessed and lucky for him to get to take the summer off with us.  I’m not a religious person by any means, but we knew this turn of events meant we needed to give this time and energy to something greater.   

We did more camping than we have been able to do in the past and we found time to get out of the house, which I think is important.  We also made it clear we were going hiking every other week, so we could provide variety and plus Charlotte’s a little young to be out all the time, she likes to hike, but we usually end up carrying her.  It might have been stressful at the moment, but when you look back at it, if his job would not have shifted, we would not have been able to do all these things.   It was nice we were able to spend time as a family.  Everything does work out and it happens for a reason.  We had to have faith it was going to work out. 

Trey learning about fossils on Skyline Drive in Canon City.

What are a few winning strategies you have identified to be able to balance Caregiving and being a DSST team member?

Briana: I think this space, the Caregiver space, is where we truly can lean into the equal vs. equitable conversation.  Knowing folks all have things going on in their lives with work while serving and leading in schools is an all-encompassing effort.  It’s taken me a long time to come to terms and be honest with myself around this concept.  Knowing that my work is a portion of my life and my family and my job as a wife and mother is another portion requires that I am making sure it all is happening.  

One of the things I know is really important is being transparent and honest with fellow team members.  In order to fully show up, I have had to create really clear boundaries for myself.  This strategy has worked well during E-School and similarly during Brick and Mortar School.  I have had amazing mentors along the way that have shown me that being a mom and a leader is possible. Having managers on my team with kids has also been amazing and allowed us to empathize with each other.  I like to let them know that I’m in the same boat and we will be able to row together.  

I set guardrails and intentionally let my team know when I cannot do things, such as between 8am and 9am because I’m doing the drop-off loop and getting back to my computer.  Even while waiting in the pick-up line, I’m catching up on emails or having the conversations I need to have.  It causes me to really think about all the areas of my life and find ways to be flexible with my time. 

Please describe your role within the DSST Network.

Briana: I just made the transition to Montview this year as an ASD leading on instruction.  Prior to that, I was at College View as one of the Deans of Students.  As I transitioned to the ASD role, it was important to me to prioritize people and make sure those teachers I coach feel really supported and have a direct line of access to me.  

For teachers at large, I try to make sure I hold their meeting time sacred.  If I’m asking some of them to give me their time or talk about students, data and development, I try to make sure that time is useful.  Leading with empathy has been a value for me.  I try to get to know people and understand who they are as humans.  It impacts the way we interact with one another as humans.  We need to understand who people are professionally and personally.  That’s me showing up for people.

Are there any hobbies or activities you have found to create balance during COVID?

Briana: It has been a challenge to make sure that when the kids are home after they have been gone all day, we are spending time together as a family.  We are doing things that fill their buckets.  Whether it’s playing outside or going for a walk.

Charlotte enjoying a day outside in the mud.

Another thing we hold really close is to have dinner as a family every night, and sometimes that means dinner is takeout.  During dinner, we make sure to ask how your day was and what was the highlight of your day.  My daughter likes to tell the same knock-knock joke every day:

• Knock, knock. 
  • Who’s there?
• Cows. 
  • Cows who?
• Cows don’t go hoo, they go moo.

Overall, this time is filled with organic conversation about everyone’s day and something we are looking forward to.  It’s not always a long dinner, but it’s an opportunity for the four of us to connect intentionally every day.

What are ways you pursue wellness for yourself?

Briana: It’s really really hard.  It depends on the week or the time.  My family lives here, so my mom and my brother and I are really close.   We still have Sunday dinner every weekend.  That’s a very important thing to connect every week.  It’s either at my house or my brother’s house. We also bought 5 chickens and I garden my tail off.  We bought a new house in November of 2019 and my husband was very meticulous about our lawn.  He put a sign out to the mailman to not walk across the lawn.

Briana and her husband, RJ

Sometimes I’m really good and really disciplined so I find a moment to go rock-climbing or in the evening, we all take a 30 minute walk together.  I have started the Couch to 10K app.  I have never been a runner.  We’ll see how it goes. I’m ready for day 2 and getting ready for day 3.  I like to do things where I see incremental progress.  Day one, my mile is at a certain pace, then day two it’s better. 

Anything else you think would be useful and unique for DSST team members to learn more about you?

Briana:  Find yourself another Caregiver friend in education or at DSST.  It takes a village.  Do not do this alone. If you need someone to vent to, it is okay to say, “My child just lost it for 40 minutes because she had a scrape on the bottom of her foot” and talk with someone who understands.  It’s okay to say this Caregiving business is not my thing today.  Those feelings are valid.  It’s not all roses and poppy fields.  You need your people.  

I think something for us to think about as we try to figure out this balance is also knowing in five or six weeks, it could look potentially different.  There are varying levels of success and everything works out how it is supposed to.   We need to be firm in our decisions and know why we are doing what we need to.  And know it will be okay.